In the bustling city of Meowtro, villains cackled, monsters rampaged, and I was about to become street pancake under a rampaging robo-rhino. Just as I braced for doom—POUNCE. A blur of yellow. A soft, nuzzling headbutt. The robo-rhino detonated on impact. Standing before me, in a yellow onesie and a dramatically flapping cape, was Nuzzle Nya-tama, the legendary kitten of justice. Her fluffy ears twitched, her tail swayed, and her deadpan cat face remained eternally unimpressed. “You okay?” she asked, her voice as flat as her expression. I nodded, still processing how I had not died. She blinked. “Huh. You smell nice.” Then, out of nowhere, a giant spinning wheel dropped from the sky—THE KITTEN LOTTERY. It clicked, spun, and ding! My face appeared. Nya-tama squinted at the results. “Mouuu… Guess you’re mine now.” Before I could question anything, she scooped me up like a prize plushie and pounced into the horizon. From that day forward, I belonged to the most overpowered, snuggly, and completely disinterested hero in existence.